The Soulbreaker
by Stronghammer
Summary: A crew and its captain go through some rather humorous adventures to get some rum, proper navigator tools and maybe even some treasure. Not directly involved in PotC events, though bits and pieces might be metioned throughout.
1. The Beginning

Rebecca PorterSoulbreaker's Curse

It was a rough night at the Salty Sailor. Small brawls were breaking out, gamblers could clearly be seen cheating, and drunken pirates were singing some old pub song.

_"We're rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves... Drink up me hearties, yo ho... We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs..._

_Drink up me hearties, yo ho!" _

In one of the corners of the tavern, four pirates could be seen drinking rum, and playing a game of Liar's Dice.

"I'll bet four threes," said Rowdy Jed, first mate of the ship, _The Soulbreaker_.

"Liar!" yelled one of the other pirates.

Jed grinned slyly, and revealed four threes. The pirate got up cursing, and left the game, throwing some coin on the table. Irish Beck, Captain of _The Soulbreaker_, picked them up idly, and said "Your turn, Cutty."

Cutty, crewman of _ Posideon's Insanity_, grinned nervously and cast his dice. He peeked at them and said, "Five Sixes." The man was sweating.

"Liar!", Captain Beck yelled truimphantly, standing up. The man revealed two fives. "Now hand it overly," she said sternly.

Cutty muttered something obscene. Jed rose and drew his sword at once, said dangerously, "Care to say that a little louder, yeh bilge rat?"

"Careful now," Irish Beck said, accent more pronounced, as it did when she was high-strung.

The _Insanity _crewman grumbled, and handed over a worn-looking map. "Good," Beck said, "Jed, I think its high-time we got the ship up and running and get outta this hellhole." She used the harsh word affectionately as though, it were more then that.

Irish Beck strode over to the bar and strode towards several of men sitting there, who immediately brightened upon seeing their beloved captain.

--

Beck stood over the front of her ship with her hat tipped over her eyes. The morning was warm and calm. The loud yells of crew mates behind her ruined the trance she was in, but Captien Irish Beck didn't mind. She leaned against the railing, resting her hands on the ship's figurehead. Rowdy Jed hopped on the railing of the bow, placing his elbows on his knees.

"Cap'n..We've run out of food rations."

"I though we restocked at Port Royale!"

"Well, yeh see Cap'n, we left in a hurry yesterday..." his sentence trailed off.

Irish Beck turned to Jed, "Wheres the nearest port?"

"Krovesport, Ma'am." Jed said, peering over the newly recieved map from the bar one night before.

"Jed, dont call me 'ma'am', savvy?" Jed looked up with an odd face.

"Sorry,cap'n." "Put the sails up. We're heading to Krovesport."

"Aye aye,cap'n."

Jed yelled at the crew mates, "Pull the anchors up!"

Almost a split second past when half the crew rushed to get the anchor. Maniac Malcolm yelled from the crow's nest, "Ship in view, Cap'n!"

"Colours?"

"British!"

"Let down the sails! Quickly, now! Head 'round that bend, to give 'em the slip! Then head towards Krovesport! Move, sailors!" Beck yelled loudly. Jed repeated the orders.

The ship begin to move in the eastern direction at a faily fast speed. No ship could keep up with the _Soul Breaker_. It was Irish Beck's choice to pull back,and complety destory the ship that was following. She loved to see the sight of an enemy's flag burn before her eyes.

By high noon, the port was in view. Around a few miles away, it would take an hour to get there. Irish Beck stood on the side of the ship, peering into the water below.

"Uhh..Cap'n?" Rowdy Jed said in an eager voice, "I think the map we won last night might take us to a chest or treasure, its kinda far away...But I'm not made for keepin' the bloody gallows happy... I can't read the final part of the map."

She nodded. Booty was good. Especially if they got to plunder it from innocent spectators. All sails ahead then.

"We're gonna need to pick us up..."

Irish Beck raised her hand in Jed's direction, "Sorry. I mean, KIDNAP a navigator,savvy?"

"Aye..We'll find one in the port."

Irish Beck looked in the direction of the port. She smiled with a twinkle in her eye. "Pillage and plunder. Don't give a hoot." She said, putting her hat over her eyes again, whispering to herself, "Drink up me hearties,yo ho,yo ho.."

Beck eventually got the rest of the crew singing along, of course, since it was her favourite song.

_We extort, we pilfer, we filch and sack_

_Drink up me hearties, yo ho_

_Maraud and embezzle and even high-jack_

_Drink up me hearties yo ho..._

--

Arriving at the port was an easy task, the port being full of all sorts of shifty people. How on earth were they to find and kidnap a navigator, since they were difficult to find. While Jed, Beck and Cannonball Kyle (he was for protection) searched for a navigator, the crew was staying at another tavern, _The Gilded Rose._

"I bet it'll take 'em a day to find one," said John Redeye.

"Nay, less then that! 2 hours!," hollered Sickly Bob.

"Care to wager on that?" John said eagerly.

As the pirates drew forth their coins, another crewmen came before them with an angry fellow, being threatened by gunpoint.

"I say!," yelled the man, "What is the meaning of this mess?!"

Charlie grinned at John and Bob, "We gots us a nav'gator. He was looking at some ships, trying ter see what one would give 'im passage someplace."

The pirates all smiled. It was time to find the rest of their crew.

"This is mad! Not one blasted navigator we can bloody kidnap!" Beck was seriously fustrated.

"Now Cap'n... maybe we jus' need some rest..den.." Jed faltered.

Cannonball Kyle said viciously, "I'll track one down for yeh, Cap'n! Even if it takes me all afternoon and all nigh'!"

Beck smiled slightly, "Thanks Kyle..but-"

"Captain!," It was John, "Captain! Guess what we found us!"

Kyle looked confused. "You found yourselves? _Huh_?"

Charlie smacked him on his head, "No stupid! We found us a navigator! A fancy, proper one too!"

Beck grinned. "And what be the name of this here navigator?"

The man drew himself up proudly, "Mathieu Cl-"

Jed stopped him, "_Mathieu?_ You need a new name, mate." He shook his head.

Mathieu scowled. "How 'bout McMatt?" Bob said brightly. Mathieu looked at him in utter horror.

Beck said, "Thats perfect! Now you lot get yourselves back on the ship, get McMatt settled in with his instruments and stuff, while Jed, Kyle and I get supplies. Savvy?"

The crew nodded, and John prodded the newfound navigator forward with his sword.

--

Back on the ship, the crew was sitting in a circle drinking rum, dancing jigs, and singing, while McMatt sat on the sidelines, looking highly uncomfortable. John still sat near him, hand always near a weapon.

Beck, Jed and Kyle, who hadn't yet boarded the ship heard them singing.

_You had best close your eyes when we sit down to eat_

_For manners are lost on a pirating fleet_

_We gobble our grub, slurp our grog from a jar_

_And when we are finished we'll ARR ARR ARR ARR_

_There's a patch on me eye and there's stripes on me shirt_

_We're surrounded by water and still we find dirt_

_Our hats have three corners they're triangular_

_We wear them while singing our ARR ARR ARR ARR_

Beck laughed heartily as she and the other two came on the ship. "A round over here,eh?" Richie, the cabin boy, brought the three weary pirates some rum. Beck walked over to where McMatt was sitting forlorning on a box.

"Ahoy there! Don't look so glum, lad! Being a pirate is fun!"

The crew looked up. That was a verse similar to one of their other favourite songs!

_Yar har, fiddle dee dee, being a pirate is alright with me!_

_Do what you want 'cuz a pirate is free!_

_You are a pirate!_

McMatt looked disgusted and said, "I'd rather not, thanks."

Jed looked at him, "You sure gots nice manners, mate."

"Now boys," Beck grinned, "Play nice. I'm not in the mood for nasty comments."

McMatt asked, "And if I did insult someone...?"

"Yeh'd be spending all tonight and the morrow in the gallows with no food, scallywag!" Beck said, annoyed with this man.

She turned around, and went to her crew's circle, long brown hair, which was tied in a ponytail, swaying behind her.

Jed grinned, swiping at his black hair out of his eyes, "Don't get her angry, mate. If you're not careful she'll throw yeh outta the crow's nest and into the sea. Ye scrappy swab."

McMatt was shocked. "_Her? _But she's a lady! She shouldn't be doing such things, much less pirating, why I'd wager-"

Jed cut him off with a sword placed at his throat, "Now don't be insultin' the captain. She a very capable woman, far better pirate then some men I seen."

McMatt pushed the sword away, and stalked off in disgust.

--

"Awake, ye lazy sea dog!" Kyle yelled into the ear of McMatt, dumping a bucket of dirty water on him.

McMatt started yelling too, "What in blazes was that for?!"

Kyle grinned roguishly, "Cap'n said yeh ought teh be up at crack o' dawn, jus' like the rest of us!"

"Well, I'm not obeying some low-down, lady pirate who-"

Kyle dumped another bucket upon the unfortunate fellow. "Captain said you'd say that!"

He jumped out of the way as McMatt swung his fist at him. Kyle's grin never vanished. He kicked McMatt in the gut, then kneed his face. McMatt fell to the floor.

"Now what be all this racket?" It was the captain herself.

Kyle dusted himself off, and bowed dramaticaly. "Jus' followin' orders, ma'am."

"WHAT have I TOLD you all about callin' me MA'AM?!"

Kyle scampered up the stairs, yelling as the tip of her sword nicked his bottom. "And you.." she said, helping McMatt up, "Ye crazy landlubber.. the man was jus' followin orders! I ought teh have the nine tails brought on you!"

"You use _whips_?" McMatt was terrified.

She laughed at the expression on his face, "Nay lad, I be fooling yeh. Now key-haul yerself on deck, I got work for you to do." She walked upstairs without another word.

McMatt sighed. How the _hell _was he going to get out of this?

--

**TBC**


	2. Odd Mishaps

McMatt cleared his throat, "Uh... Captain?"

Beck turned around from the map she was staring at, "Yes?"

"I'm going to need some nautical instruments."

"We can get you those." She moved out of his view, and showed him some very old, worn tools.

McMatt looked affronted, "I'm going to need better then that," he said icily.

She scowled, "Fine. But don't come crying to me if yer fancy-schmancy stuff breaks. Jus' cuz its expensive, don' mean its good. John! Jed! Charlie! Take this landlubber down to shore, and get him his instruments."

The crew all looked at him uneasily.

"And Richie? Get me some rum."

--

"Poke.," Jed poked McMatt, "Poke, poke, POKE!"

"For Pete's sake, man! Stop!"

Jed grinned devilishly, "Make me."

McMatt slouched down in the chair and said nothing.

Jed laughed. Then John said, "Get up, get your things, then we're getting out of this- this _way _too clean house."

Indeed the house WAS clean. Every inch was sparkling, and not even a pink frill out of place. Charlie shuddered. He HATED pink, as all respectable pirates, and men for that matter, should.

McMatt walked upstairs, going slowly for, he thought it might be the last time he'd ever see his house. With its _lovely _pink wallpaper, redwood floors, spacious rooms, and drawings littering the floor, he couldn't help but shed a tear. Jed sniggered.

He slowly collected his nautical tools, a few drawings and maps, and clothes. He wondered if he'd ever need his favourite pencils again. They HAD helped him make all those wonderful drawings of birds and such. Hmm...perhaps he could escape these vicious pirates... seeing as he obviously knew this house better then they. He could sneak into the kitchen, via the secret staircase, then go out the back door! What a brilliant plan! If anyone had been listening to McMatt's inner conversation they would have snorted and said, 'Brillant plan, my ass.' You'll understand in a moment.

McMatt snuck down the staircase, after gathering his things, just incase his plan DID go wrong. When he got to the bottom, he noticed something. There was noise on the other side of the door. He wondered why that was. He opened the door. Oh yeah. Pirates, he remembered now.

--

"You've got an awful guilty look on your face, mate. Like you was going to hightail it outta here," Charlie said, after an astute observation.

McMatt laughed nervously.

John's eyes narrowed. "Methinks he _was _trying to escape."

Jed snarled. "The sorry kraken was gonna give us the slip!"

The other pirates immediately surrounded him. McMatt turned and ran back up the staricase. But before he could, the tip of someone's sword caught his shirt. He stumbled and fell. He glanced behind him, seeing only what felt like a million stairs. He tried scrambling back up, but the pirates stopped him. The last thought in his head before a giant wine bottle smashed his head was, '_Such a waste of good wine.'_

--

"He tried to do _WHAT?!"_

Captain Irish Beck had been sitting on the railing close to the wheel, when she heard the news. She was trying to relax, as she had the feeling it was going to be a very long day. And what better way to relax then drink rum? Of course, stupid Mc-Whatshisface had to go and RUIN that too, did he? And he had a PINK house?! The horror. She had to teach this man a lesson.

Jed nodded excitedly, "Yes cap'n, the rat tried to escape."

"The vermin tried to 'scape,huh?" McMatt suddenly decided never to get a drunk woman angry EVER again.

Jed nodded again. "We raided his rum cellar though."

Beck slapped him hard on the back, "So the urchin does drink then, does he?"

McMatt muttered something that sounded like, "It was my fathers. The pink is from my mother.."

She raised her sword. "Landlubber, I think we need to settle this with a-"

"Wait, stop!"

Beck turned around. Two fancily-dressed young ladies were running aboard the ship. Beck groaned. Being drunk was never good around the richer class. It tended to make you do or say things you were going to regret later. Like robbing them."What do yeh want?"

"Don't kill him!" It was the first lady.

"And you are?" Beck said coldly.

"I'm Emily, and this is my friend Jennifer," she said impatiently, then, "You can't just kill him!"

The crew roared with laughter. These _proper _people obviously didn't know the code.

Beck eyed them suspiciously, "What makes you think I was gonna kill 'im?"

"You had your sword out!" Jennifer burst out.

Jed snorted.

Mathieu turned to look at the one with the lovely voice. It was _Jennifer_, oh his beloved! In a beautiful purple dress, which accentuated her slim figure. And her brown- nearly black- curls framed her face just so wonderfully. He walked up to her.

Jennifer looked at him in disgust, "Not you again!"

McMatt moaned, "Noo... you love me! You just...don't know it yet!"

Beck was officially creeped out. "Jus'...just send him to the gallows for awhile, til I can get some space and think!"

John and Charlie hurried to follow her orders. "Righto, hoist anchors, let loose the sails, make sure we have all supplies aboard! We're setting out!"

"Hey wait! What about us?!" Emily yelled out.

Beck and Jed eyed the pair. "The gallows," they both said simultaniously.

--

"Thats not fair! You can't just do this to us! I'm- we're...the whole town will be looking for us!" Emily yelled, trying to attract the captain's attention. But, alas, Irish Beck was talking to Rowdy Jed who appeared distressed about something.

Mathieu was thrown into the cell beside them. Jennifer sat down gloomily. "What are we going to do? We've been captured by pirates. They're probably going to make us walk a plank or something."

A grubby pirate, who was swabbing the deck outside the cells, barked a laugh. "Irish Beck is one of the nicest girl pirates you'll ever meet, lass. Jus' don't say dat to her face, or she might really make yeh walk the plank."

"And I heard what yeh said, noblies! I don' care who the hell ya are! You're coming with us iffen I has anythin' to say 'bout it!"

The pirate snorted and muttered, "The Irish.." He sounded rather amused.

**TBC**


	3. Work, You Lazy Peons!

It was high noon by the time Jed came down to the gallows to get them. He was to take them to what he called 'capn's quarters', so she could deal with them. By that time, all three of them were dirty, from the filthy seawater swirling around in the floor, and hungry from not having eaten since breakfast. And if McMatt didn't have his noontime tea, he thought he'd probably crack. They were brought up from the gallows, on deck, past the stairs which lead up to where the helmsman was, to a rather polished door, to which Jed mockingly bowed them inside, before entering the room himself.

The room they gathered in was a fair-sized room. It had several portholes on the walls, personal knick-knacks, but mostly objects like empty bottles of rum. There was a large table in the middle, with mismatched chairs placed randomly. There was a door at the back of the room, leading to, assumingly, the captain's rooms. But this was the meeting room. And seated at tthe head of the table, was Captain Irish Beck herself.

"So we gots ourselves a nav'gator, and some narrow-minded, pompous windbags who-"

"We are most certainly NOT windbags!" Emily screeched. Jed chuckled.

"-who," she glared at them pointedly, "think they can just be disruptin' our ways anyhow they think they like."

"So what're you going to do about it?" Jenn bravely asked, or rather, demanded.

"Well miss prissy, I was thinkin' of havin' yehs work with the crew, let them have yeh to themselves fer awhiles, put you on some far-off island, or jus' kill yeh. Take yer pick."

McMatt whispered to the girls, "_She's _the nicest pirate ever?"

"What was that, Matty?" said pirate demanded.

He squeaked, "Nothing, ma'am."

Suddenly, the edge of her sword was dangerously close to his neck. "I think yeh've had enough today, cap'n," Jed announced, distracting everybody.

"Eh? What? No! Jed! Give it back!"

Jed whispered to her in an undertone, "We _need_ him remember?"

"Righ!," she said loudly. Beck removed her sword from the navigator's neck. McMatt sighed. "But you _watch your mouth_, n'gator."

He really, _really_ didn't like drunk women.

"So what're you going to do, _ladies_?" Irish Beck asked menacingly.

"Uuuh... can we think first?" Emily asked quickly.

Jed glance at his scowling captain. "Jus' hurry up, okay? I like cap'n better when she's _happy_."

"Does she get weird mood swings or what?" Emily muttered as the three huddled together in a corner.

"I think thats what happens when you're drunk," Jen offered. The other two stared at her oddly. "What?"

"Anyways," McMatt said hurriedly, "I think we should either work with the crew or go off on an abandoned island."

Emily frowned, "I **_hate _**doing work."

"I used to play with animals a lot, and help my big brother in the stables sometimes. I don't mind," Jen volunteered.

McMatt thought for a few minutes. Emily looked at her best friend, utterly scandilaised.

While the trio were debating over their course of action, Jed was putting away his boss' alchohol. Beck was gazing out a large porthole warily. "Waves are getting a bit choppy. Looks like they might calm down in a bit though," she observed. "Aye cap'n," agreed Jed. They waited together silently for the little band to finish.

"Well?" Beck demanded, once they'd all turned around.

Mathieu spoke up, "We'll work with the crew." Emily didn't look too happy.

"Swell. Now yeh can start by cleaning the cannons, then swab the gallows. Mighty well mind, cuz thats where you'll be sleeping. I'll leave the rest to Rowdy here." Jed grinned, mind spinnig at what they could do.

Jed ushered them out of the room quickly, and shut the door behind them. He paused momentarily, and said, "Oei!," the little group turned to look at him anxiously, "Girl wit the pink- you go down past the crew's mess and go help the cook, you in the purple, go do what cap'n said. McMatt- since the cap'n don't need yeh jus' yet, you'll be working with miz prissy."

Mathieu tried to get out of it, "Doesn't she-the captain I mean- need help?"

Jed gave him a dirty look, "She can read maps fine, even if she is jugged."

"Sorry?"

"Eh, means drunk. You know, bashed, sloshed, and merry?"

Mathieu nodded, frowning slightly in disapproval. Jed shook his head, he'd get that uptight man drunk soon enough.

--

Jen and Mathieu plunked wearily down on one of the crew's benches in their eating place. Jed had worked them to the bone. He was quite strict about his job, or at least with aristiocratic newcomers. They had cleaned what felt like every inch of the ship, including the weaponry and the washrooms. It had been an _awfully_ long day. Emily, it seemed had just as bad. She had spent the day learning from the taciturn cook, and cleaning dishes from breakfast to peeling potatoes for hours. Now she was serving the crew their food. The cook looked on with something akin to grim satisfaction on his face. Life on the seas wasn't as carefree as it looked. Emily finally brought forth their plates, some worn looking bread, potatoes, and fish. Since they didn't like alchohol, they got seawater.

"Ew!" Jen exclaimed, "I'm **not** eating this! It'll ruin my figure!" The pirates around them chuckled.

Emily looked at them apprehensively, "It actually gets _worse_."

Mathieu looked at the food, aghast. "We're doomed." He would've smacked his head on the table, but that was very un-gentleman-like so he just smacked his forehead on his palm instead.

"Are you going to eat that?" It was the grubby pirate.

"No," Jen pushed the plate away from herself, looking sick.

The pirate grinned and took the plate from her. "Me name's Big Jake. You're McMatt right?" he asked the young man.

"Its Mathieu."

"Whatever floats yer boat, I guess. Yeh should know- none of us is gonna call yeh that."

Mathieu didn't answer. Big Jake frowned slightly. Turning to the girls he asked, grinning alarmingly, "So what'd yeh do to get cap'n in a bad mood?

They both looked startled. He laughed. "Guess it wasn't you girlies then. Mighta been that ole scoundrel Greg. He's always asked fer a bit more money yeh know." Jake pointed at an tall, unshaven man who was nursing his ale, looking disappointed. "Yeh girls caused cap'n trouble, and then Greg comin' round at a bad time..."

"How'd we cause trouble?" Emily asked.

Jake spoke slowly, "Well not trouble, 'xactly, jus' some commotion. The men ain't used to having upper-class ladies round, which migh' cause 'em to loose their 'eads. Den, Cook's been complaining some, somethin' bout you there missy," he looked at her, "Ship's looking cleaner an' all, bu' I dunno, something jus' seems off."

Jen looked about thoughtfully, "We could dress us like men. That might help."

Jake looked stunned for a moment, and then started laughing. "Never...thought I see a lady offerin'...to change inter...men's clothes," he gasped between chortles.

Emily looked dismayed. "Jen! If I didn't know better, I'd think you might want to become a pirate like these...these theiving crooks!"

Instantly the whole room tensed. McMatt supposed everyone had been discreetly trying to listen in. He looked towards the stairs. Jed was standing there, hand halfway to sword, looking murderous.

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT? What makes you think we're all low-down cowards and robbers, eh? How would you like it iffen I started saying all you rich ladies were snobby, hoity-toity wenches that only cared about what aristo they did?" He stopped, having run out of breath and was glaring at her. Indeed, everyone was looking like they were going to rise out of their seats.

Suddenly, Irish Beck came into the room. She looked at Emily coldly and said, "_Updstairs_, _now._" Emily gave a quick, frightened glance at her friends, and then at Jake, who looked offended and refused to meet her gaze.

"I don't suppose I could have some tea, could I?" Mathieu asked, voice cracking slightly.

**TBC**


End file.
